Tune Up Tuesday – a little nugget you might be able to use to “tune up” your relationship. In addition to hosting this radio show, I am 2 classes away from graduating with my degree to be a therapist. So, on Tuesday mornings I share some things I’m learning with you… for free. Today, offering you some pillow talk. And this works with your spouse…or with tense arguments around even topics in the news and ways you may be feeling about recent events.
The exercise is this – when a disagreement occurs, put a 4 sided pillow in front of you and think of each side of the pillow as representing a different perspective. The perspectives are:
- You are right and the other person is wrong.
- The other person is right and you are wrong.
- You are both right.
- You are both wrong.
As you sit in front of the pillow, articulate the first perspective to yourself, then move to the next side, and keep going until you have expressed all 4 perspectives. Make sure to spend time exploring and embracing each perspective to the best of your ability. I mean really try to “get” what people who hold the other perspectives may be trying to express. I believe it’s through understanding, empathy, and compassion that we can remain emotionally connected… even in the case of conflict.