African American couple accounting family budget at home, wife scolding her husband for overspending and lack of money
African American couple accounting family budget at home, wife scolding her husband for overspending and lack of money

Why the Problem You’re Fighting About is Rarely the Problem

Tune Up Tuesday!  In addition to hosting mornings on B105.7, I work in the afternoons as a licensed therapist (at Evolve Therapy in Greenwood, IN) and on Tuesday mornings I’ll share a nugget or two with you that you can use to sort of “tune up” a relationship in your life or your own mental health.

Today – why the problem in your relationship is rarely the problem.

You may think you’re fighting about the laundry, but chances are it’s deeper than that.  You may be fighting about feeling alone, feeling like you don’t have a partner, or feeling unheard.  I have couples I work with do some self-digging… what is this REALLY about?  Because the problem is rarely the actual problem.

When you share with your partner from that emotionally vulnerable space (what you’re really feeling), as opposed to a reactive place – it sets you up for success.  You are more likely to feel heard and understood.  And you’re more likely to get what it is you’re wanting.  In summary, it’s much more successful and can lead to greater intimacy and connection.

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